There are no words...

When you lose someone you love, there are no words anyone can tell you that will make it alright. No light-hearted jest will make you forget. Even for a second.
But thanks for trying guys. I appreciate it...

On the 1st if November, we received a phone-call from my uncle.
My eldest cousin, James, had taken his own life. And there are no words to descibe how I feel.
Remember my last post? the Hallowe'en one? Well why I was carving that pumpkin and writing that post they were zipping up the body-bag of my Jamie.
Think of that.
Go ahead, Pick any negative emotion in any thesaurus, dictionary, -of any language-, dodecatuple it, and then you may have a smidgeon of a concept of a word to describe a hundredth of how this came crashing down on me.... on us. And of how I remain.

My Father has two sisters and one brother, there were four of them; These four each had two children.
Together, 8 cousins; including Jake and myself... Once we were 8,
Now we are 7.
Seven cousins, and one Jamie-shaped hole.

So don't tell me it is, was, or ever will be okay; I don't want to hear it.
It is NEVER okay for ANYONE to want to take their own life. It should not have to happen. No-one should have too feel like that is their only hope. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO EXCUSES.
Here is a link to the Beyond Blue website, for anyone out there who needs to take a good long look at how they are feeling, or are concerned about the wellbeing of someone else.

You will be missed sorely, James "Jamie" Pirotta. I hope you found whatever you were looking for.

And I? I am no longer Heere nor Thare.

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